


This Is Real

by destieliswrittenonmyheart



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort, Dean Just Wants The Best For His Sammy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hallucifer, Heartbeats, Helpless Sam, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Hallucinates, Sweet Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieliswrittenonmyheart/pseuds/destieliswrittenonmyheart
Summary: Sam continues to hallucinate Lucifer, and he starts to panic.Dean tries to help out, but that proves easier said than done.-"Doesn't this feel real? My heartbeat? You can't fake this, Sam. Lucifer doesn't have a pulse, and I do. Trust in me."





	

Sam tossed and turned under the weight of his blankets, begging for sleep to take him over. Anything to get the voices to stop. Anything to get _his_ voice to stop.

"Heya bunk buddy! I hope you're not busy doing anything, cause I'm bored." Lucifer's putrid, nagging voice rang out. Sam shut him out, pulling a pillow in front of his face. "Oh Sammy, don't be this way. I only want to have some fun!"

"And I only want you to shut up." Sam moaned, his voice almost inaudible due to the feather pillow that he was now pressing incessantly into his face.

Lucifer rolled his eyes with immense drama. "You can't _seriously_ think that doing that-" He motioned towards the pillow. "Is going to stop you from hearing me." Lucifer clacked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, and let out a giggle. "Sammy, _Sammy._ You know all too well it won't work. Because..."

Moments of silence passed before Sam grew worried of what that fucking fallen angel would do to torment him now.

Yet, there was still only the sound of Sam's ragged breaths in the pillow. Sam peered over the cloth to get a glimpse of Lucifer. Sure enough, the bastard was still standing in the corner of his room. His eyes were squinted with a look of villainous pleasure shining through, his mouth ticked into a sneer.

" _I'm all in your head._ " The silence shattered abruptly with Lucifer's voice screaming out from inside the depths of Sam's brain. Lucifer stood with an unnerving stillness as he continued to mock Sam from inside his head. " _You can't escape me, Sammy. Just give it up._ "

Sam cried out for his brother. Dean always got the hallucinations to leave him alone.

"Oh, Sammy, that's adorable. Go on, cry for mommy one more time. Oh, I'm sorry. Salt in the wound?" Lucifer hissed out in the room once more. "More like salt on an open fire." The devil's laughter shot through every vein in Sam's body.

Sam scratched and pulled at his ears, wishing it would deafen him to Lucifer's sour voice. "God-SHUT UP! DEAN!" Sam cried louder.

Lucifer just stepped closer and pat Sam's leg, whilst still laughing. Dean finally flung Sam's door open, completely breathless.

 

"Sam-Sammy, what's wrong?!" Dean panted with an urgent undertone.

Sam pointed a shaking finger at his hallucination. "Lucifer. Again. I'm sorry, Dean, I'm-"

"Sam, dammit." Dean trod near Sam's bed, and sat at the foot of it. "It's all your fault, Sam. I can't deal with you anymore." Dean put his face in his hands. "Sometimes I just wish you were never born, or since I can't change that, that you'd at least kill yourself."

With widened eyes, Sam jumped up and ran backwards to the nearest wall, his back slamming against it. "No." He whispered.

Dean just laughed. "Yes, Sam."

"See, Sammy. You can't escape this. I've told you so many times." Lucifer mocked. "Don't you believe me now?"

Sam glanced back at Dean, who was running toward him with his fists clenched. "Dean, stop. Please Dean, don't." Sam prepared himself for a rough punch in the nose. He screwed his eyes shut tight, fear building in his chest. Instead, Dean clasped at Sam's wrist. "No! NO! Dean no, please. Please don't hurt me!" Tears slipped from Sam's eyes, running down his scrunched face.

"Sammy, it's not real, he's not real, he's not. I am Sam, look. I'm not going to hurt you!" Dean pleaded. "Sammy, c'mon. Dammit, I'm sorry. Please. Whatever you're seeing Lucifer or I do, it's not real."

Sam heard Dean talking now, as himself. He spoke up, voice breaking. "D-Dean?"

"God, Sam. Yes, yes it's me. I'm real."

"I don't know that, I'm... What if-" Sam was cut off by Dean shushing him.

Dean lifted Sam's hand to his neck, coaxing his brother's cold fingertips to his pulse point. "Doesn't this feel real? My heartbeat? You can't fake that, Sam. Lucifer doesn't have a pulse, and I do. Trust in me." Dean pleaded as he continue to hold Sam's quivering hand to his throat. He knew Sam could feel the blood rushing beneath his skin. "C'mon, Sammy."

Sam stared at Dean, time frozen solid. He had trouble taking in what was happening. Sam wasn't quite with everything yet. Lucifer's absence made him slightly uneasy, unsure of himself. Yet somewhere deep within his being, he knew it was real. Dean's throbbing carotid beneath his very own fingers. Sam just cried harder and slipped. Dean was quick to catch him, although Sam couldn't keep himself upright anymore.

"It's alright little brother, it's okay. I've got you." Dean soothed as he tried to lead him back to his bed. There was no way in hell that Dean could hold his moose-of-a-brother up for very long on his own.

 

Dean helped Sam sit on the bed, and Dean immediately sat directly next to him. Sam slumped forward onto Dean's collarbone and bawled. Sam didn't really know why he was sobbing, he just was. Months of mental torture tore at his insides. Sam gripped Dean's sleep shirt tightly in both hands, twisting the fabric, threatening it to rip. Dean started laying down with Sam partially on top of him.

"Sammy, it's okay, I'm not letting you go. You can loosen your grip." Dean grunted slightly.

Sam nodded against Dean's neck. "I-I'm sorry-y. I don't know-w what's wrong with m-me." Sam mumbled as he gathered himself more.

"It's okay Sam. Just keep fighting, that's all I ask."

Sam huffed and almost started to cry again.

Dean tensed a slight bit, "What? What's wrong Sammy?"

"Y-You told me that you wished I would kill myself." Sam hesitantly recalled aloud.

Like the speed of light, Dean felt his heart shred itself to pieces. He knew he never actually said those words to his brother, but it still hurt like hellfire. "Sam, you...you know I would never say that, right?" Dean cast his gaze downward, staring at Sam's distraught face. The tears on his lashes were glittering in the dim light like little galaxies.

Sam lifted his eyes to stare straight at Dean's. "I do, don't worry."

 

Dean had to look away, anxiety throughout in his torso from even considering the thought of him ever saying those words to his beloved sibling. Dean wanted to cry himself. He just wrapped his arms tightly around Sam. One arm wrapping across the back of Sam's head, and the other around his shoulder. "S-Sam."

Sam hummed in response, too emotionally drained for much more.

"Can you-" Hesitation held Dean back for a few seconds. "Sammy, can you hear my heartbeat?"

The taller man stayed still for a few seconds, before repositioning his head slightly. "Now I can."

"Sam, this is real. You cannot fake a human's pulse, not that I know of." Dean stated. "You can feel or listen to my heart whenever you need to. If you know that this is real, then you can throw yourself back into reality. Hallucinating or not, toss yourself at me whenever you need to know that this is real."

Sam nodded, absolutely entranced in Dean's heartbeat.

Dean pet at Sam's hair. "It's okay Sam. I've got you."


End file.
